It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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