"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
