I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
