Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
