i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
no. you can't hotbox the world.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
