I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
