oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
