so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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