What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
