Having a random hookup so left but love u
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
