He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
