Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
