I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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