He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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