You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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