You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize