I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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