on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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