Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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