dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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