dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
