you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i would one night stand the shit outta him
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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