I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
