The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
