You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
