is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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