I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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