I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
