is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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