Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
