Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
