I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
