SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
