i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
