I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
