i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
