end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
