So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
