In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
