There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
