She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
