Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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