Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize