Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
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