At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
