Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
