You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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