I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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