why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
