So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
