HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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