you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
