I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
