I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
