You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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