how can u be prego again
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
