Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize