she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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