Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
