Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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