Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
