I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
