why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
