oh god the rape fog is back!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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