But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize