I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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