I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
NoShamevember. You game?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
