Are we in a gay sports bar?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
