dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
