I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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