I want to stick my p in your. b.
This is not my ceiling
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
