So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
