Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Girls should come with a carfax report
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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