false alarm. still invincible.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
