The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My ass is underappreciated
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
