I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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