Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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