why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
